I did a very nice self-care routine today. I did a face mask, nice face scrub, body scrub, body moisturizer, and other stuff. Then I got all dressed up nice and I felt happy. It really does give you a good confidence boost to do something nice for yourself and pamper yourself a little. So yay me for using DBT skills! And when I was in the shower I had a razor to shave, and I didn't cut myself! I was so happy that I did it without cutting. I am really making steps forward.
After that I took my cats outside. That might sound weird, but my cats are indoor cats, and since the jump the fence if you let them out without watching them we sometimes go sit out in the backyard and supervise them so they don't run away. They really love going outside. My cats are really cute orange cats, one of them is really fat but I still think he is cute.
We had pizza in the afternoon which was a nice treat. They have gluten free pizza at Domino's Pizza (I have Celiac disease), and it was actually pretty good. We all sat as a family and ate pizza. Really we ordered it because no one wanted to cook, but I enjoyed it.
After that I did homework. I had to write a fake newspaper article about whether bottled water or tap water is safer, and then make a poster about vitamin C. I thought they were pretty stupid assignments because they really don't have much to do with chemistry, but eventually I just buckled down and did them anyway. Tomorrow I have to do an actual experiment so that will be better.
Since I finished my homework I have pretty much just been listening to music and staring at my ceiling, which I find very relaxing. I sometimes just sit and appreciate the fact that I can enjoy life. Just let go of all my thoughts and focus on the lovely way the light falls on the ceiling, or how much I like the lights around my window, or how good the music sounds in my headphones, and how the radio station is playing that song I like. In those moments I feel some strange peace, like the world is just the way it is supposed to be. And I feel as though the person I am and the person I want to be are aligning. I often have these moments when I am walking, when and I love the way the streets look, and I love the way my coat and shoes are just right, and there is beautiful sun, and there is symmetry in the street lines, and the wind is blowing but the sun is warm so I am just the perfect temperature, and I feel and look exactly the way I want to be. They are weird wonderful moments, and I don't know if it is a feeling other people get or if I'm just a little crazy.
I did find out something sad today though. I found out that Ned Vizzini, the author of "It's Kind Of A Funny Story", committed suicide in December. I was very sad that he was eventually unable to win against his depression, he was such an inspirational person and a very good author. Whenever I hear of someone creative committing suicide, it makes me just feel so sad and makes me wonder if there is any hope for those with artistic minds or if we are all doomed to be the victims of our own creative minds. I guess that a sharp mind is a sharp tool, and can be used very easily for good but also strongly for evil. And ultimately you just have to ensure you let out all that energy through creativity, because if you keep it all inside it will drive you mad.
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